DONALD TRUMP – Not agile. Look at him. His hair doesn’t meet anyone’s definition of done.

LADY GAGA – Agile. She wore a friggin’ meat dress, for chrissakes. Say what you want, the girl can iterate.

MARK ZUCKERBERG – Not agile. He was photographed wearing a suit. Standing next to a beautiful woman who’s almost certainly sleeping with him. He should just turn in his geek credentials and go buy a house next to Clooney.

NEWT GINGRICH – Not agile. He hasn’t learned to accept that when the sprint’s over, it’s over.

THE BOSTON RED SOX – Agile. David Ortiz said “Somebody gotta start it, right?…There are too many good players in the room not to have good team”. Results have improved ever since. Big Papi has a bright future in scrum management.